September has always been a tough month for me to maintain my fitness levels. I work hard all summer, I make good progress and it all goes to h***, in a few short weeks which most refer to as the month of September. The back-to-school season for a teacher is easily the most stressful time of the year; the next most stressful being the end of the year. This year, has been especially difficult with added pressures personally and professionally playing into the mix. The result? I think I got on my bike twice since Labor Day. This is not a good thing. This means, that the next time I do get on the bike, I’m getting on and starting all over again.
Huffing. Puffing. Wheezing. Miserable. Wimpy.
I’m also dealing with a significant lack of motivation. I just don’t want to ride these days. In fact, I look at my beautiful bike, minus the front wheel (because it now resides on a beautiful stand that was hand crafted for me), and I cannot find it in me to get my gear on and get out and ride. I feel this way even when the weather is perfect for riding. I feel this way even though I have time. In fact, I’ve long since quit making excuses. I know that I’m simply choosing not to ride. It’s just too difficult right now for a number of reasons, of which, my deteriorating level of fitness is only one. I’d just rather go to the gym, or stick in a fitness video, or just about anything than ride.
I’ve been here before. I’ve been in this place where getting out on bike is an arduous effort physically and emotionally…and I’ve pedaled through it. I’ve found my own paths, discovered my own routes, learned my lessons, and have persevered. I know I’ll be okay. It might just take some time.
Today, I took the first step and put the bike up on the trainer. Of course, I haven’t gotten on it to ride, yet, but I will. Riding is, after all, my best therapy for a weary body and a disappointed heart.